She washed your little toes before you knew what they even were, she made you eat broccoli and let you eat ice cream, she listened to you cry and laugh, and she is your biggest fan. Or maybe all she did was give birth to you- but that’s kind of enough, don’t ya think? May 11 is Mother’s Day and you better not forget it or in the doghouse you will be. In fact, start making plans NOW, because a whole lot of people in Seattle have mothers.

What to do to please Mom? Well, it’s easy really, mothers are women, and women are easy to figure out, contrary to popular belief: we like good food, we like being entertained, we like sparkley things, and we like chocolate. But don’t just go out and buy some junk carnations from QFC along with a bottle of sauvignon blanc- no doubt she would love these things, but they are only things, which makes them lame. Why not take your mother out to enjoy life and give her a Mother’s Day to remember? Here are some great places to take your mom, and unlike a bouquet, the memories will live inside of her forever:

FOR ANIMAL LOVING MOMS: Mother’s Day Brunch at the Woodland Park Zoo: Moms love animals, otherwise they never would have had them in the first place, right? Hee hee hee. Really though; brunch and mothers go together like monkeys and inappropriate behavior, and there’s a dessert buffet! Win-win!

FOR ARTSY MOMS: If your mom is artsy, there’s a good chance you are an artist too, so the fact that Moms and Museums at the Bellevue Art Museum is letting in mothers for free on Mother’s Day (as long as she’s with you) should suit you just fine. Enjoy the paintings, and don’t worry honey- she recognizes your talent, whether the world does or not.

FOR OUTDOORSY MOMS: Have a Catered Breakfast at the Northwest Trek Wildlife Park then take a tram ride around the park and see if you can spot any bighorn sheep, deer, elk, or caribou out roaming free just like their mothers would have wanted.

FOR DRAMATIC MOMS: Well okay ALL moms are all a little dramatic but if yours loves the theatre, head to Intiman for the Mother’s Day Brunch followed by an afternoon matinee of The Diary of Anne Frank

FOR SPORTY MOMS: The Seattle Storm takes on the Indiana Fever at Key Arena Saturday night; root for the hard-core chicks with your hard-core mom.

FOR GAMBLING MOMS: The Emerald Queen Casino is giving away flowers, cash money money!, and matching handbags, along with hosting special games to see who knows their mother the best during the Mother’s Day “Two-Lips” Celebration. No comment on that name.

FOR FUNNY MOMS: Two hilarious female comedians are in town Mother’s Day weekend; Margaret Cho splits sides at The Paramount and Janeane Garofalo hams it up at the Showbox at the Market.

FOR FEMINIST MOMS: Buy tix to the NARAL Pro-Choice Luncheon at the Sheraton Hotel, and listen to the Sarah Weddington speak; she’s the attorney who successfully argued Roe vs. Wade in front of the Supreme Court.

FOR GARDENING MOMS: Flowers smell nice and are colorful and pretty, just like your mother. Take her to the Bellevue Botanical Garden for the Mother’s Day Social and follow it up with a tour of the extensive garden grounds.

FOR HIPPIE MOMS: Does your mom braid her long hair and smell like sweet patchouli? Remind her of her tripped-out days of psychedelia at the Cirque du Soleil’s CORTEO over in Marymoor Park. You’ll score major points- there’s not a mother alive who wouldn’t love this show.

FOR BAD MOMS: Did your mom drop you on your head repeatedly? Leave you with strangers for most of your childhood? Refuse to feed and clothe and shelter you as a toddler? Well then bring her to the punkerslut NOFX show at the Showbox SoDo. and make sure she ties those combat boots tight! Or how about a surprise guest slot at Open Mic Night at the Comedy Underground- you’re up, mom! After her set, take your mother for a swing around the dance floor at Country and Western Line Dancing Night at The Cuff Complex, Seattle’s hotter-than-the-sun dance club for gay men. Now that will be a Mother’s Day to remember- unlike your birthday, which she always forgot.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU LIFE-GIVERS OUT THERE!

GUEST BLOGGER: James Kirchmer

This past Tuesday evening (April 8^th) I attended a private launch event for Virgin America’s new Seattle to Los Angeles airline service. Headlining the party, which ran from 8pm to 1am at The Showbox, was Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth), who played a surprisingly satisfying acoustic set with his new band. For a spell, his signature electric guitar-driven aesthetic was not at all missed. Nevertheless, I hoped he’d whip out his battered Fender at some point and rip, old-school style, into his timeless back catalog. My wish was fulfilled during a long encore that found Thurston in full-on shaggy-haired head-bangin’ mode, and the Who’s Who crowd edged closer to the stage. Dude’s still got it, big time. It was a blissful conclusion to this fun, free-beer-soaked affair (high praise must go to our fantastically charming woman-about-town Kerri Harrop for organizing the hitch-free soiree!). My only regret was not being able to MacGyver my way into the large VIP section, as a rumor was flying around that Lou Reed was kickin’ it. I never did find out if this was true. Anyone? I doubt it (LOL).

Whatever the case, I was told of this possible rock legend’s presence by Nathan, who was assigned to bartend in the Green Room. And speaking of said color, FYI he’s a longtime resident at Seattle’s infamous “Greenhouse“, one of the many area homes that are booking local and touring bands on a regular DIY basis these days (and my personal favorite). Nathan enthusiastically noted that he’d be hosting an awesome night of wild music come April 19^th. And his smile was spot-on: the lineup could have easily headlined, say, at The Sunset. Full details are HERE.

Let’s just say that it’s not your typically predictable rock show - a few of the musicians have collaborated with guitar hero Bill Frisell, among other world-class luminaries, and can twist their instruments into figures shaped by far more than the usual 3 chords. Anyhow, the day after this corporate shindig, as I nursed my body back to life, I wondered whether big business, while able to infiltrate nearly every type of social happening there is, would ever succeed at effectively conveying its marketing messages within the national house-show circuit. It would not surprise me! Anything is possible in this candy-pushing country of ours. Regardless, the mere thought of some marketing execs brainstorming along these lines cracked me up, and laughter’s a great hangover medicine.

That said, here’s a select list of Emerald City house venues, and their corresponding web pages. Some post events, while others will only alert folks who become their Myspace friends (among other underground-leaning protocols). Keeping things low-key and fully grass-rooted, so to speak, is a key to survival. Consequently, I’ll leave it at that. Explore the sites and keep an eye out for new spots, as active houses are naturally always in flux. This post may be of little use come 2009. Lastly, check back - as I’ll be guest blogging about the EMP Pop Conference’s highlights and lowlights. The anticipated yearly event, which just kicked off, runs until Sunday and is once again FREE to the public. Kudos to the sponsors that made “free” possible this year: Zune and Rhapsody.

Some of Seattle’s house-show locales:

• 414 House: http://www.myspace.com/the414house/
• Cat House: http://www.myspace.com/cathouse_/
• Dancylvania: http://www.myspace.com/dancylvaniahouse/
• Dearborn on Woodland: http://www.myspace.com/dearbornhouse/
• Dog City: http://webuiltdogcity.blogspot.com/
• Fire Breathing Kangaroo: http://www.geocities.com/grandpa_jumpy/fbkangaroo.html
• Firefly Concert Series: http://www.fireflyconcertseries.com
• Greenhouse: http://www.myspace.com/thegreenhizzy/
• Healthy Times Fun Club: http://www.myspace.com/healthytimesfunclub/
• House Concert Seattle: http://www.myspace.com/houseconcertseattle/
• Haslund Concerts:http://www.ourhousejazz.com/haslundconcerts.htm
• Plague House:http://www.plaguehouse.com/
• Polka Dot House: http://www.myspace.com/polkadothouse/
• Punkin House:http://www.seattlediy.com/punkinhouse/
• Swamp House: http://www.myspace.com/swamphouseseattle/
• The Ark: http://www.myspace.com/thearkseattle/
• The Dog Park: http://www.myspace.com/ledogpark/
• The Office of Doctor Glorious: http://www.myspace.com/theofficeofdoctorglorious/
• Wizard House: http://www.myspace.com/wizardhouse/

Here is a timeline of communications between Clay Bennett and the rest of the Sonics ownership group compliments of the Seattle Times.

July 2006 - Aubrey McClendon sends e-mail to Clay Bennett and Tom Ward with the subject line “the OKLAHOMA CITY SONIC BOOM (or maybe SONIC BOOMERS!) baby!!!!!!!”

April 17, 2007 – This e-mail exchange took place between Ward and Bennett

“Is there any way to move here [Oklahoma City] for next season or are we doomed to have another lame duck season in Seattle?” Ward wrote.

Bennett replied: “I am a man possessed! Will do everything we can. Thanks for hanging with me boys, the game is getting started!”

Ward: “That’s the spirit!! I am willing to help any way I can to watch ball here [in Oklahoma City] next year.”

McClendon: “Me too, thanks Clay!”

August 2007 – McClendon made this statement to the Journal Record.

“we didn’t buy the team to keep it in Seattle; we hoped to come here.”

August 2007 – In response to David Stern threatening a huge fine, Bennett wrote him this e-mail.

“I would never breach your trust. As absolutely remarkable as it may seem, Aubrey and I have NEVER discussed moving the Sonics to Oklahoma City, nor have I discussed it with ANY other member of our ownership group.”

Dear Mr. Bennett – You just got caught in a huge lie and I’m wondering how you’re going to weasel out of this one.

UPDATE: ESPN posted a PDF of the emails.

I may not have five American flag stickers on my car or bake apple pie from scratch every day, but I love baseball. In Little League I was the worst second baseman (baselittlegirl?) ever, but my collection of baseball cards was top notch (hehehe) and I had a life-size poster of Nolan Ryan on my bedroom wall. I remember fondly driving up to Arlington Stadium in Texas with my Dad, drinking ice-cold cokes on the way and seeing Nolan Ryan’s 5000th strikeout. Baseball is happy-making, baseball is playtime.

Now that I am completely grown up and matured, I go to baseball games with as many friends as possible; we pack into Safeco and scream our lungs out for the heck of it. TODAY IS OPENING DAY.

Here are the Top 7 Reasons to Love Seattle Mariner’s Baseball:

1. Beer at Pyramid Brewery before the game. A no-brainer really; grab a chilly Hefeweizen (or three) at Pyramid for half the price of the drinks next door at SAFECO Field. Finding a table inside can be an exercise in complete futility, but grabbing a beer in the giant beer garden outside is as easy as a McDonald’s fast-food apple pie (I would say easy as pie but that’s a misnomer- have you ever actually made a pie? Not easy). Pyramid Beer is now the official beer of the Mariners, so you can get officially buzzed before the game.
2. Kids in the stands who have no idea about steroids, gambling addiction, Pete Rose, or $8 beers; they are just there to enjoy the game and be inducted into the great pastime of the U.S. of A. Do you see their wide eyes and big smiles as they wave blue foam fingers for whoever just hit the ball? Soak it up.
3. Ichiro. When I worked at a fancy hotel in downtown Seattle, they estimated that 20% of their guests were Japanese tourists who come our city primarily to see the great Ichiro. That’s a lot of revenue for Seattle, AND we all know just like the Japanese that Ichiro ROCKS, hands down and batting average up!
4. Peanuts, Nachos, and Hotdogs. I’ll skip the crackerjacks with the junk prizes and dive into a giant plastic tray of chips, “cheese”, and jalapenos, thank you very much. Of course, the food in any ballpark is WAY overpriced and slightly unhealthy, but nothing goes with a baseball game better than food you eat with your hands.
5. The Cheap Seats. For $8 you can get a ticket in the nosebleed section, the center field bleachers. You can’t see the batter’s expression or the pitcher’s evil eye, but you can get loud and crazy and hoot and holler with the rest of the ruffians. When the Mariners aren’t winning the cheap seats are almost empty and it becomes your own little world. Your own little peanut-throwing, heckling, beer-spilling world.
6. SAFECO Field. Our stadium is nice and all but the view it owns is nothing short of spectacular. Take in the game along with a fat view of downtown Seattle and a sunset over Puget Sound at weeknight games. Enjoy the Emerald City and be glad your home is chock full of mountains and water. Luck-ee!
7. THWACK!!! The sound of a player’s bat connecting with the ball is a sound of joy, of mirth, of play; it connects with our hearts too and we all look up, hoping to see the little spot in the big sky, headed our way.

Play is important in life, much more so than big screen TVs, fancy BMW’s or stainless steel kitchen appliances. In the words of George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” So get out there and catch a Seattle Mariner’s game this season and see how many of my Top 7 you can experience at one game. Play ball, and enjoy life!