She washed your little toes before you knew what they even were, she made you eat broccoli and let you eat ice cream, she listened to you cry and laugh, and she is your biggest fan. Or maybe all she did was give birth to you- but that’s kind of enough, don’t ya think? May 11 is Mother’s Day and you better not forget it or in the doghouse you will be. In fact, start making plans NOW, because a whole lot of people in Seattle have mothers.

What to do to please Mom? Well, it’s easy really, mothers are women, and women are easy to figure out, contrary to popular belief: we like good food, we like being entertained, we like sparkley things, and we like chocolate. But don’t just go out and buy some junk carnations from QFC along with a bottle of sauvignon blanc- no doubt she would love these things, but they are only things, which makes them lame. Why not take your mother out to enjoy life and give her a Mother’s Day to remember? Here are some great places to take your mom, and unlike a bouquet, the memories will live inside of her forever:

FOR ANIMAL LOVING MOMS: Mother’s Day Brunch at the Woodland Park Zoo: Moms love animals, otherwise they never would have had them in the first place, right? Hee hee hee. Really though; brunch and mothers go together like monkeys and inappropriate behavior, and there’s a dessert buffet! Win-win!

FOR ARTSY MOMS: If your mom is artsy, there’s a good chance you are an artist too, so the fact that Moms and Museums at the Bellevue Art Museum is letting in mothers for free on Mother’s Day (as long as she’s with you) should suit you just fine. Enjoy the paintings, and don’t worry honey- she recognizes your talent, whether the world does or not.

FOR OUTDOORSY MOMS: Have a Catered Breakfast at the Northwest Trek Wildlife Park then take a tram ride around the park and see if you can spot any bighorn sheep, deer, elk, or caribou out roaming free just like their mothers would have wanted.

FOR DRAMATIC MOMS: Well okay ALL moms are all a little dramatic but if yours loves the theatre, head to Intiman for the Mother’s Day Brunch followed by an afternoon matinee of The Diary of Anne Frank

FOR SPORTY MOMS: The Seattle Storm takes on the Indiana Fever at Key Arena Saturday night; root for the hard-core chicks with your hard-core mom.

FOR GAMBLING MOMS: The Emerald Queen Casino is giving away flowers, cash money money!, and matching handbags, along with hosting special games to see who knows their mother the best during the Mother’s Day “Two-Lips” Celebration. No comment on that name.

FOR FUNNY MOMS: Two hilarious female comedians are in town Mother’s Day weekend; Margaret Cho splits sides at The Paramount and Janeane Garofalo hams it up at the Showbox at the Market.

FOR FEMINIST MOMS: Buy tix to the NARAL Pro-Choice Luncheon at the Sheraton Hotel, and listen to the Sarah Weddington speak; she’s the attorney who successfully argued Roe vs. Wade in front of the Supreme Court.

FOR GARDENING MOMS: Flowers smell nice and are colorful and pretty, just like your mother. Take her to the Bellevue Botanical Garden for the Mother’s Day Social and follow it up with a tour of the extensive garden grounds.

FOR HIPPIE MOMS: Does your mom braid her long hair and smell like sweet patchouli? Remind her of her tripped-out days of psychedelia at the Cirque du Soleil’s CORTEO over in Marymoor Park. You’ll score major points- there’s not a mother alive who wouldn’t love this show.

FOR BAD MOMS: Did your mom drop you on your head repeatedly? Leave you with strangers for most of your childhood? Refuse to feed and clothe and shelter you as a toddler? Well then bring her to the punkerslut NOFX show at the Showbox SoDo. and make sure she ties those combat boots tight! Or how about a surprise guest slot at Open Mic Night at the Comedy Underground- you’re up, mom! After her set, take your mother for a swing around the dance floor at Country and Western Line Dancing Night at The Cuff Complex, Seattle’s hotter-than-the-sun dance club for gay men. Now that will be a Mother’s Day to remember- unlike your birthday, which she always forgot.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU LIFE-GIVERS OUT THERE!

The opening night of Cirque du Soleil’s Corteo found me in the twelfth row of Le Grand Chapiteau, a frozen monkey with mouth agape, sitting in a stilled silence except for occasional bursts of laughter and sighs of amazement. Now I am not the silent and still type, AT ALL, and it takes a big experience like the Big Top to render me so. My heart however was pounding like a giant psychedelic clown was attacking a tympani with a rubber chicken, only stopping it’s mad march for moments of absolute antici……….pation as I waited in a trance-like state to see what the superhumans on stage might do next. Would they spin in a hoop like a living metallic-blue Vitruvian man simultaneously with five friends? Grab onto a chandelier and swing up into the sky in their skiivies? Slowly walk a mile-high tightrope, upside down? Float out over the audience for the most graceful crowd-surfing experience Seattle has ever seen? Join a languid parade of playful angels, Tuba players, and ballet dancers from the most bizarre dream EVER?

Physical and dramatic performing artists who are the very best in the world create the incredible spectacle that is the Cirque du Soleil; it is an acrobatic, gymnastic, dancing, theatrical, musical, comedic, sparkling, magical, childlike parade of sensory enlightenment, an epic French feast of ‘Wow!”, a near out-of-body celebration of the absurd and the beautiful. The amazingly talented and no doubt insanely hard-working athletes make every tumble and turn seem effortless and just an extension of their humanity, like you and I might tomorrow flip backwards from bed to bed in a pillow fight out of childhood fantasy.

Corteo is the show now playing at Marymoor Park in Redmond under a fat yellow and blue striped Grand Chapiteau or Big Top that has seemingly sprung from the colorful mind of a five year-old, a mind that we all once had. The character Corteo is a ghost-clown reliving his better years, and while he revisits his childhood antics and purity of perception, you follow along with him, just as entranced as he is by the once-lived escapades.

I absolutely cannot believe I that had never been to the Cirque du Soleil before. Why didn’t anyone ever shake me and give me a swift kick to the rear and say GET THEE TO THE CIRQUE DU SOLEIL? In a land where the likes of Avril Lavigne and Britney Spears qualify as ‘performing artists,’ the insatiable American consumers of entertainment dismiss terms like ‘eye-popping’ and ‘jaw-dropping’ because we have heard them describe everything from new flavors of yogurt to random celebutante #9’s fashion choice for the afternoon.

So let me shake you and light a fire under you, because at the Cirque du Soleil your eyes WILL pop, your jaw WILL drop, and your heart WILL pound, certain that either your senses are deceiving you OR that someone’s about to bite it, bigtime. The Cirque du Soleil is a thrilling and unique entertainment experience that can never truly be described, only lived.

So live it! Here are a few tips for making the trip to Redmond’s lovely Marymoor Park a bit easier:

• Allow PLENTY of time to get to your seat; traffic gets backed up and you will want a few extra minutes for buying balloons and cotton candy and running around the big top screaming and jumping…well, for hitting the gift shop, anyway.
• Parking is $15 payable in cash and cannot be avoided unless you hike in like a creature from Lake Washington lagoon.
• Take your mom! She will just LOVE it, you know she will, and Mother’s Day IS coming up, you know.
• Get a sneak peek of the action right here, and read Cedric’s take on the Cirque du Soleil.

CONSIDER YOUR FIRE LIT.

Last night I went to the preview of Cirque Du Soleil Corteo at Marymoor Park in Redmond. I was greeted by the friendly marketing staff and ushered into the blue and yellow Grand Chapiteau (Big Top). It was shortly after that moment that I forgot how old I was. That I was WAY past the age of 20 no longer seemed possible to me. In fact, I was actually convinced I was a nine year old boy (read my review under Fred Roth).

Here now are a few of MANY wonderful highlights from this event!

Yeah, Cirque Du Soleil is THAT incredible! I had so much fun! I’m going to try to maintain this child-like mentality for as long as I can. If you’ve ever been to see Cirque Du Soleil, I want to hear form you. Share your thoughts about Cirque Du Soleil with me and the millions that read my blogs (well, maybe not millions…)!

Corteo performs in Seattle through May 25th at Marymoor Park in Redmond. More details of this event at the Cirque Du Soleil page at Culturemob.com.

The new Cirque du Soleil performance, Corteo, opens Thursday April 24 but Le Grand Chapiteau or THE BIG TOP will be raised today at Marymoor Park at 11AM.

The giant blue and yellow tent takes eight days to be completely set up; it is 66′ tall, 167′ in diameter, and is supported by four 80′ tall masts. It holds 2,700 people in a climate-controlled environment and is transported city to city by 63 tractor-trailers carrying 800 tons of equipment!

Stay tuned for more information about Cirque du Soleil: Corteo.

Earlier today, I wrote a comment about Miss Saigon at the Tacoma Musical Playhouse (I went to the opening last night; see fred roth). In it, I write about April Villanueva, Aaron Feed, Micheal O’Hara and fellow cast. I also wanted to mention that the Tacoma Musical Playhouse was a great venue to be in. The staff there could not have been more friendly and professional. It was a great experience.

At the end of Miss Saigon, the cast and crew came out to the lobby to meet the patrons. We were chatting and drinking punch as well as champaign punch (not bad at all). The Tacoma Musical Playhouse establishes a dedicated venue for this great art form. It is greatly appreciated!

Miss Saigon runs through May 4th. Go see Miss Saigon at the Tacoma Musical Playhouse.

Go to culturemob.com to find more events.

Miss Saigon is a tragic story of love and sacrifice, war and injustice, hookers and the American Dream, all set to a rich backdrop of music and colorful costumes. It is one of the best musicals ever, up there with Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera, and the Tacoma Musical Playhouse promises to deliver the epic tale with quality performances.

Opening night is April 11 and Miss Saigon will run through May 4; curtain is at 8PM for evening shows every Friday and Saturday with matinees at 2PM every Saturday and Sunday. For theater buffs wanting a peek at the action behind the scenes, this Sunday April 6 at 7PM the Tacoma Musical Playhouse puts on Behind the Curtain, a 90-minute look at what it takes to create a production like Miss Saigon as well as the story’s history and proper theater-going etiquette.

Tickets for the show itself range from $16-$23 and can be purchased online at the website of the Tacoma Musical Playhouse up to 48 hours before showtime. This event is not recommended for children under the age of 16, but everyone else will enjoy the “sex, violence, war, prostitution, and profane language” which are necessary to tell the poignant story of American G.I. Chris and young and innocent Kim.

For a tiny taste of Miss Saigon, these lyrics are sung by the Engineer (a.k.a. the Pimp) who dreams of a life in America, away from the war and the filthy life he leads:

“What’s that I smell in the air?
The American dream
Sweet as a suite in Bel-air
The American dream
Girls can buy tits by the pair
The American dream
Bald people think they’ll grow hair
The American dream
Call girls are lining time square
The American dream
Bums there have money to spare
The American dream
Cars that have bars take you there
The American dream
On stage each night: Fred Astaire
The American dream

“Shlitz down the drain!
Pop the Champagne!
It’s time we all entertain
My American dream!”

Will the Engineer ever get to the Land of Milk and Honey he dreams about? Find out at Miss Saigon at the Tacoma Musical Playhouse this spring!